The Past.

"Don't regret the things you've done before, because it's made you the person you are today." So many people say this but its a hard quote to follow really. Doing stupid stuff in the past may make you more intelligent as a person, but it still doesnt mean that you dont regret doing it. Many people today let the past define us as a person. All the struggles and hardship we go through makes us a stronger person forsure, because i've gone through so many and i know i'm strong in these areas. Things that may break someone down that hasn't gone through much hardship in the past, doesn't phase me at all. I EXPECT good things in my life to be gone in a matter of time and it's always happened. Some people just have such great lives. They have perfect family, good relationship with God, rarely go through any hardship, have amazing oppurtunities, etc. I used to envy these people so much when i was down and out. But i realized that God did this for a reason. I'm a stronger person than many people i know because of all the struggles and hardships i've gone through in life, and i am thankful for that. Even though every good thing that comes into my life goes away in a matter of time, i know that God is eternal and will never leave me and He's all i need. There's that saying, "People come and go in your life, but God is eternal." That is so true in many ways. When i'm going through so much in life, i feel so lonely. God is the only one who comforts me in my time of need. He's the only one that will always think of me first, and make sure i am okay and just stay there with me when i'm in pain. He doesnt have to say anything at all to me, just the fact that He is there with me shows that he cares for me and loves me so much. I always get these weird phases in my life. In all these phases, i do think way too much and it makes me feel even lonelier. In the past, i used to never turn to God when i felt like this because i would turn to people around me instead. I turned to everyone but the one person that actually really truly care about me, which is God. I've been trying to remind myself to turn to God whenever i do feel lonely, but it's a work in process. But i know that God will send me people that will help me through times like these and be there for me always and i love him so much for that. So yeah i'll leave you guys with this song and you can look it up on youtube and listen to the lyrics: 3t - Disappear. Thanks for reading.



-Paul Lem.

19.

People always quote that one saying, "Age is just a number." That is true in some ways and not so in other ways. I mean im turning 19 soon, it doesnt even feel like its my birthday coming up. I dont realize really why to this point people still celebrate their birthdays. I mean its cool to do that in junior high and under but i mean once u reach high school and all that gaining another age just brings more responsibilites onto you. I think also for my age i've just gone through many more experiences than average people that have made me mature quicker. I feel like i'm old already but it turns out that i'm only turning 19. It's weird how that works out, but than i mean i'm sure God put me through all the stuff in my past to make me mature quicker because it's better this way. I know what i should be doing and what i shouldn't, i have my proritites straight, and forsure looking back my old lifestyle was just plain stupid. High school was just a stupid time and now that i've matured past that i can see other people in that same situation, people starting to get into that situation, and etc. I feel that i can try to help them not get into those stuff, but i mean if they don't listen once or twice or even more than that, than it's really on them and they can just face judgement. Just came back from a praise night and i thought it was much needed forsure. Now-a-days i've been too consumed by the worldly things like my busy schedule that i really have been neglecting God and he's the only thing that matters to me. I'm neglecting the one person that cares about me the most and wants the best for me which is to have eternal life with him in Heaven. I think it's so amazing when people in relationships right now spend so much time thinking about that person, wanting to be with that person, talk to that person, etc. but when it comes to God it's nowhere near that. He should get all that and more from us because there is a relationship between God and us if we have that relationship of course. I feel that i have learned that forsure throughout the years and it's something i have been constantly trying to apply. When there is a girl in my life, i want to talk to her, i want to be with her, i want to see her, i think about her, and so on but i feel that God should get a million more of that from me because He saved my life. He's been with me through thick and thin, never leaving me and i love him. God is love and without God in my life, my life is meaningless. So as i age another year i know God is going to teach me many more things and show me many more miracles/oppurtunities and i thank him for that. So i'll leave you guys and girls with a song and you can look it up on youtube and listen to the lyrics : Switchfoot - Dare You To Move. Thanks for reading.


-Paul Lem.