The Past.

"Don't regret the things you've done before, because it's made you the person you are today." So many people say this but its a hard quote to follow really. Doing stupid stuff in the past may make you more intelligent as a person, but it still doesnt mean that you dont regret doing it. Many people today let the past define us as a person. All the struggles and hardship we go through makes us a stronger person forsure, because i've gone through so many and i know i'm strong in these areas. Things that may break someone down that hasn't gone through much hardship in the past, doesn't phase me at all. I EXPECT good things in my life to be gone in a matter of time and it's always happened. Some people just have such great lives. They have perfect family, good relationship with God, rarely go through any hardship, have amazing oppurtunities, etc. I used to envy these people so much when i was down and out. But i realized that God did this for a reason. I'm a stronger person than many people i know because of all the struggles and hardships i've gone through in life, and i am thankful for that. Even though every good thing that comes into my life goes away in a matter of time, i know that God is eternal and will never leave me and He's all i need. There's that saying, "People come and go in your life, but God is eternal." That is so true in many ways. When i'm going through so much in life, i feel so lonely. God is the only one who comforts me in my time of need. He's the only one that will always think of me first, and make sure i am okay and just stay there with me when i'm in pain. He doesnt have to say anything at all to me, just the fact that He is there with me shows that he cares for me and loves me so much. I always get these weird phases in my life. In all these phases, i do think way too much and it makes me feel even lonelier. In the past, i used to never turn to God when i felt like this because i would turn to people around me instead. I turned to everyone but the one person that actually really truly care about me, which is God. I've been trying to remind myself to turn to God whenever i do feel lonely, but it's a work in process. But i know that God will send me people that will help me through times like these and be there for me always and i love him so much for that. So yeah i'll leave you guys with this song and you can look it up on youtube and listen to the lyrics: 3t - Disappear. Thanks for reading.



-Paul Lem.

19.

People always quote that one saying, "Age is just a number." That is true in some ways and not so in other ways. I mean im turning 19 soon, it doesnt even feel like its my birthday coming up. I dont realize really why to this point people still celebrate their birthdays. I mean its cool to do that in junior high and under but i mean once u reach high school and all that gaining another age just brings more responsibilites onto you. I think also for my age i've just gone through many more experiences than average people that have made me mature quicker. I feel like i'm old already but it turns out that i'm only turning 19. It's weird how that works out, but than i mean i'm sure God put me through all the stuff in my past to make me mature quicker because it's better this way. I know what i should be doing and what i shouldn't, i have my proritites straight, and forsure looking back my old lifestyle was just plain stupid. High school was just a stupid time and now that i've matured past that i can see other people in that same situation, people starting to get into that situation, and etc. I feel that i can try to help them not get into those stuff, but i mean if they don't listen once or twice or even more than that, than it's really on them and they can just face judgement. Just came back from a praise night and i thought it was much needed forsure. Now-a-days i've been too consumed by the worldly things like my busy schedule that i really have been neglecting God and he's the only thing that matters to me. I'm neglecting the one person that cares about me the most and wants the best for me which is to have eternal life with him in Heaven. I think it's so amazing when people in relationships right now spend so much time thinking about that person, wanting to be with that person, talk to that person, etc. but when it comes to God it's nowhere near that. He should get all that and more from us because there is a relationship between God and us if we have that relationship of course. I feel that i have learned that forsure throughout the years and it's something i have been constantly trying to apply. When there is a girl in my life, i want to talk to her, i want to be with her, i want to see her, i think about her, and so on but i feel that God should get a million more of that from me because He saved my life. He's been with me through thick and thin, never leaving me and i love him. God is love and without God in my life, my life is meaningless. So as i age another year i know God is going to teach me many more things and show me many more miracles/oppurtunities and i thank him for that. So i'll leave you guys and girls with a song and you can look it up on youtube and listen to the lyrics : Switchfoot - Dare You To Move. Thanks for reading.


-Paul Lem.

Happiness.

Dictionary definition of HAPPY: characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or joy.

God is happiness. Or in the words of my friend "Joy is from God, and happiness can be anything tiny from God". It's amazing when i think back how stupid i was to think that certain things made me happy in life, things that took me away from my true happiness which is God. I would feel happy in my sin because sin makes you feel good, you wouldn't be doing it if it made you feel bad. So having God back in my life really has made my life more happier. Pastor Chris actually talked about something today that i felt really got to me and made me think. He told us about how he wanted to date this one girl but God told him not to, but he still did and disobeyed God's wishes. Everytime he would pray to God while being with that girl, God would always say "break up with her, i don't want you dating her", but he said "make me break up with her if you want me to than." He challeneged God and by doing that, something terrible happened. I feel that i am like this with God many many times. In the past, i usually would depend on a girl to keep me happy so i would constantly have someone in my life at the time. But it's like most of them i wasn't supposed to date, but i went against God's wishes and nothing good came out of that relationship. The thing that is worse is that i pushed the girls away that actually could've impacted my life and strengthen my relationship with God because i was selfish and thought i knew what i wanted when i really didn't. The world can't make us happy. No matter how much we try to do things our way, if we don't listen to God and do his will, we will never know the true meaning of beying joyful or happy. God is my source of happiness and whenever i am feeling down, i need to remind myself of that because he is true happiness. He will make all the pain, worry, fear, sadness, anger, any negative emotion away. If you depend on God alone, he will take care of you because you are his son/daughter and he loves you so much. Growing up, i never really knew what it was like to have that motherly love, since my birth mother left me at the age of 1, but through that incident God showed me that love through my grandma. She was like my mom growing up, and my dad was working all day so i never really grew up with that fatherly support either. I needed to learn things that other kids learned from their parents on my own, and i felt because of that i was always a step behind. But God works in mysterious ways, and he gave me many gifts, talents, and skills that have helped me to become as strong as a person as i am today. One time during a retreat a guy prayed for me and said "God wants you to know that he loves you." and than after that he said "God says, 'I'll be that father to you paul. I'll be that father you need.'" That's just how God works. He is so amazing and it just leaves me in awe. During that time i actually got accepted to Azusa Pacific University and rejected to all the other colleges i applied to because i screwed up in my first 2 years of high school. But when i showed my dad my acceptance letter, all he could say was "You're so stupid you couldn't even get into Cal State Fullerton?" So i was just feeling pain because i wanted to make my dad proud but his expectations were way too much for me and i just could never reach it in my life ever. So God spoke to me through another person when i really needed it, and i love him so much for that. But God is always with us, and basically the point i'm trying to get across is that He is the source of true happiness. If you think that you are happy in this world and you dont know God, than you are just blinded in your sin because without him no one will know true happiness and joy. So i'll leave you guys and girls with this song and you can look it up on youtube and listen to the lyrics: Hillsongs - At The Cross. Thanks for reading.


-Paul Lem.

God v.s. the world.

If God asked you to give up all your material belongings, popularity/friends, and social status would you be able to do it instantly? If God asked me that question, i really can't say forsure that i would be able to give it all up. That is true for a lot of us, because we are too consumed by the worldly things and we get so caught up in trying to build a great life for us here on earth that we totally forget that once we die its all going to be a loss and the only things that are permanent are the treasures we store in Heaven. Of course God is not going to tell all his children to give up everything and isolate/have nothing to do with the world. But God did want us to be set apart from the worldly people, but i learned something good from both my old high school pastor Jundo and my new college pastor, Pastor Chris. Jundo said during his sermon that if someone were to go ask people at school that knew you, you're co-workers, or whoever it may be, what kind of person you are, how they would respond. The fact if they will be like "oh, he's a cool person to go drinking with, party with, go clubbing with, etc." or if they would say "he rocks the boat." You don't have to be those die-hard christians, but if you are called to be than be it. But just the fact that when people are around you, they can tell there is something that is different or stands out about you that lets them know you are a christian, not just by you saying you are. The way you act is a big way of how people will know that you have Jesus in your life, because you will live your life for him and his glory. I was talking to a friend today about God, and she said something that really stood out to me in the conversation. "I know that God doesn't just live in the church". This is true, God doesnt just live inside the church everyday. He is everywhere and always watching over his children. So wouldn't that make you think of how you are living out your week excluding the friday night bible studies and sunday worships knowing he is right beside you? He is our father, my father, and he loves us so much so to see us living our lifes to waste by just conforming to the world and not doing his will must hurt him a lot. I used to care so much about my image, how much people i knew, my social status. It's taking years and probably way more years to come, but i'm slowly starting to not care too much about the worldly ways and not conforming to its ways. I'm learning to humble myself more, so that i can be ready when God calls me to do something for his glory. So i'll leave you guys with a song and you can look it up on youtube: "Mercy Me - Spoken For and Hillsongs - Through It All and Mercy Me - Word Of God Speak". I decided to put 3 songs in this entry and i hope that you guys and girls enjoy them all. Listen to the lyrics and i hope you like them. Thanks for reading.


-Paul Lem.

Above All.

Isn't it just an amazing feeling knowing that someone will be with you through any trials/struggles in life, through good and bad, and always be on your side? Well God is always with you. No matter if you make mistakes in life or sin, he will always forgive you and embrace you with open arms as long as you ask for his forgiveness. Even if you go down the wrong path or make a wrong choice, he will always give you oppurtunities and chances to come back onto the right path. I usually end with a song you guys can look up on youtube but i'll just say it now and you guys and girls can listen to it while reading this: Michael W. Smith - Above All. These lyrics are just powerful. The chorus is what i want to focus on the most though. "Crucified, laid behind a stone. You lived to die, rejected and alone. Like a rose, trampled on the ground; You took the fall, and thought of me, above all. Jesus was crucified on the cross and laid behind a stone so our sins will be forgiven. When he first came into this world, he knew he was going to die soon enough and the pharisees turned the people against Jesus leaving him rejected and alone by man. Like a rose trampled on the ground is a metaphor. He was beaten down and bloodied up and was too severely wounded to lift himself up completely. He took all our sin and shame when he was on that cross, so we can be covered in his blood so God will always forgive us no matter what sin we commit as long as we ask for forgiveness. While waiting to die on the cross, Jesus thought of the very people that were mislead to believe that he was bad, and asked God to forgive them because they know not what they do. Finally, above all this pain and suffering he went through for us, he thought of you above everything else. I'm still in awe of it. But i didn't write this blog trying to make it sad, so i'll get to what's on my mind. Because Jesus went through so much so we can be forgiven for our sins, it really should make us re-evaluate the way we are living our lives. I'm not saying we should be perfect and never sin, because only Jesus could and did that. But i believe we as christians need to live our life fully for God so when we go to heaven we can say that we did the best we could to bring people to know him. I was watching Coach Carter the other day and they had a very interesting quote:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine as children do.
It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.
And as we let our own lights shine, We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, Our presence automatically liberates others."
A quick summary of this is really just be the best you can be. Don't be afraid to do something because you are afraid to fail and that you think people won't think you are good enough afterwards. God will always love you even in succession or failure. Just the fact that you tried your best is what God is looking for. So if we try new thing and people see that we fail but as christians we know God is still proud because we tried our best, they may start trying new things also and if they fail, be okay with it because they know they tried their hardest. It is also vice-versa for succession. Now this quote can be translated in many different ways, but i feel that when i was watching it, God put this certain situation in my head. But forsure there are many more different ways to translate it for different situations. So yeah thanks for reading.


-Paul Lem.

Humility.

Today in church, guest speaker Pastor Chris gave a sermon about humility. About how Moses was used not when he was in his prime age, but when he became humble at the age of 80 leading about 2 million people. That's just incredible to know that God can use anyone no matter how old you are, how big/tall you are, or how much abilities you may have. It's hard because my whole life i did grow up with a competitive strive in basically everything i did. I try my hardest to be humble and learn humility because i know that God will only bless me and use me with a certain ability if i can humble myself and not take the glory away from him. So it is still a work in progress for me, but i am slowly learning to be more patient and humble. God gives everyone different abilities, and no one has all abilities that was on earth except Jesus. So as our relationship with God grows stronger, we will learn all the abilities that he has given us and start putting them to use for his glory. And today i went early to church so i could catch up and talk with Jundo and finally got it set that i am going back to Dominican Republic this summer for missions. It's a good feeling because i was wanting to go back for so long, and now i finally get to. So these next few months are all fundraisers, planning stuff, and just getting my spiritual walk ready for all the new things God is going to teach me through this mission trip. So i'll leave you guys and girls with this song and you can look it up on youtube: Avalon - Everything To Me. Thanks for reading.


-Paul Lem.

Jesus, take the wheel.

In life, we always do what we need to, to get to where we want to go. We do the best we can in school, study hard, so we can get into a certain college of our choice so it will benefit us with our future job. We say that we trust God and that we will follow his plan, but when his plan is something different than what we want, we take the wheel and drive the direction we want to. Of course i'm like this at times too, but i try really hard now to just sit in the passenger seat and let Jesus take the wheel and guide me the way He wants me to go in life. I'm not saying we don't have a choice in what we want to do in life, because God gives us choices and it's what we choice that decide what kind of person we become in the future. Looking back in life, when i knew God wanted me to do a certain thing, but i wanted to do something else, it was a really hard journey. For example, i remember my pastor telling me that i shouldn't go out with this one girl, but i guess i wanted to go out with her. So i just totally disregarded what my pastor told me and still went out with her, oh boy was that a big mistake haha. There was just struggle after struggle, arguement after arguement, and honestly i knew it was because it just wasn't really supposed to even happen. I mean i can't say that it's a hard journey all the time because for some people it might be a different story, but for me it's that way most of the time. So i'll leave you guys and girls with two songs you can look up on youtube: Carrie Underwood - Jesus, Take the wheel and also Proto J - Closer To You. Thanks for reading.


-Paul Lem.