I give you what you NEED, not what you WANT.

So today was a good/bad day. The bad part of my day was i guess my parents got into a fight last night and my uncle and cousin are here visiting from korea. So my brother and i have been showing them around and taking them places to see. But when i came home after class, i could tell the vibe was still there because when my dad came home he just went straight upstairs. So i just sat eating dinner and i hate it when my parents get into arguements and the next thing i hear is just doors slamming and all these loud noises because they were frustrated at each other and just pushing stuff onto the floor in separate rooms. So i just decided to go do my QT's and i guess just pray for them to forgive each other quickly. I read Psalms 34:4,6 which both talk about how David was praying to God when he was desperate, how the Lord listened, and how He took all David's troubles away. So i was just writing how i wish God can just hurry and let my parents forgive each other because them fighting affects the whole family really. Than after i finished my QT, i felt i still needed to spend more time so i started looking back at my recent entries. I noticed that i always prayed for stuff that i wanted in life. I would always talk about me, me, me and spend maybe a sentence or two only on someone else for a prayer request. Than for some reason i guess it was God saying to me: "Paul, I give you what you need, not what you want." At first i just shook it off because i just thought it was like my conscience telling me how selfish i sound in my recent entries, but that line kept coming and repeating in my mind. I realized that God gives me what i need in life, not the stuff that i want. Of course He will still listen and give me what's best for me, but if something i want is not what's best, than he will not give it and i need to know He's doing that for me. That wasn't really what i was expecting in an answer from God, haha but he always has a sense of humor with me. The good part of my day was i got an A on a test in my sociology class that was supposed to be the hardest test of the semester. I was so proud of myself because i studied so hard for that, and than when i came home i couldnt really tell anyone about it because everyone was just in a bad mood. But i realized that i don't need to. God is the one that congratulates me for my work and just as long as i try my best, he will always be proud of me and that's more than enough for me. Also in my journal where i do my QTs, there is always a famous line that has been said before and this one said, "Be careful how you live. You may be the only Bible some person ever reads." That also made me think about how im actually presenting myself whenever i'm out and how i act when people know that i am a Christian. Sorry for the long entry, but i had a lot on my mind today so just wanted to write it down somewhere. So i'll leave you guys and girls with this song and you can look it up on youtube and listen to the lyrics: Hillsongs - Desert Song. Thanks for reading.


-Paul Lem.